Mystical Hand of the Amorous Monk, Miroku

[ ACT I ]

Dayime. SHI and KAG kneel by a spring.

KAG:  (scoops and drink water) It tastes great.

SHI:   Kagome, are you all right now?

KAG:  Thank you for worrying about me, Shippo. It seems my soul went flying out and back into my body but I seem to be perfectly fine.

SHI and KAG continue drinking more water.

KAG:  (thinking) The only thing that’s changed is that after his run-in with Kikyo, (looks over her shoulder at INU) Inuyasha spends more time staring into the distance.

INU stands a distance away, looking at the sky.

INU:   (thinking) I don’t know anymore… I gather up all the fragments and become a full-fledged demon… then what? If I become a demon, will I become stronger inside? (An image of KIK appears across the sky) Can I forget Kikyo? Will my heart not be swayed by anyone else?

KAG walks up to behind INU, holding SHI in her arms.

SHI:   Kagome, there’s something funny about Inuyasha.

KAG:  I think you’re right.

SHI:   (jumps and thumps INU on the head) Take that, you! (hides in KAG’s arms)

INU:   Ow… (grabs SHI by the tail) What was that for?

SHI:   Quit moping! Have you given up on gathering the Sacred Jewel fragments?

INU:   Zip it, will you! Even I sometimes have things to think about.

SHI:   That’s really funny.

INU:   (raising his fist) What’s that?! (chases SHI in a circle around KAG) Wait, you little pip-squeak!

SHI:   I’m not that dumb!

INU:   Why you…!

KAG:  (thinking) Such sorrow from the Sacred Jewel. Kikyo claims that Inuyasha betrayed her. Inuyasha claims that she betrayed him. Their stories don’t match. Will gathering the fragments lead to the solution of this puzzle?

[ End of ACT I: 1min 34sec ]

[ Title screen: Mystical Hand of the Amorous Monk, Miroku ]

[ ACT II ]

A priest stands in the middle of a forked path. He throws his staff on the ground, which points to the right path.

Priest: To the right.

Two merchants walk past him.

Merchant 1: I hear there’s a young woman working at the rest house up ahead. They say she’s lovely, with fair skin and large eyes.

Merchant 2: I’m feeling a bit hungry. Shall we stop in?

Merchant 1: Sure. (walks on the left path with Merchant 1)

Priest: (pushes the staff to the left path with his feet) To the left.

Cut to priest sitting at the rest house with the merchants.

Priest: (folded arms, eyebrows twitching, thinking) It’s true she has fair skin and large eyes, but…

A fat woman with fair skin and large eyes walk out of the rest house.

Woman: (holds a plate of food) Here you go.

The priest bows and takes the plate. The fat woman goes into the rest house.

Priest: (eats, thinking) Should’ve gone right.

Merchant 2: I hear the daughter of the lord hereabouts has been possessed and has taken to her bed.

Merchant 1: My, that is a terrible thing.

The priest overhears the conversation.

At a mansion, close up of a pond of koi fish swimming.

Lord:   (voice-over) Are you sure this one’s a priest of high virtue?

Serf:  (voice-over) Yes. So he claims.

Cut to interior of mansion, a room of treasures. The priest sits with the lord of the mansion.

Lord:   Monk, if you can’t drive away the demon, I’ll not offer you a bowl of gruel, understand?

Priest: (looks at the treasures) My, to live in such opulence in so turbulent a time. Your subjects must surely resent it.

Lord:   Impudence!

Cut to the priest walking into a room with the lord. A big gold statue of Buddha sits in a corner of the room. A young woman lies on a straw mat, back facing the screen.

Lord:   Princess, a priest has come to see you.

Priest: Pardon me. Let me see your face. (kneels and looks at the princess) My! (sympathetic) Her face is so swollen!

Lord:   It was always so! Are you really a monk?

Priest: (notices the statue) That statue of Buddha…

Lord:   I received it from some impoverished nobleman. It’s a blessed statue.

The priest stands and scrutinizes the statue. Two feelers are seen on the Buddha’s face.

Priest: All right. Leave the princess here, and take everyone outside your gate.

Lord:   What?

Priest: And listen carefully. No matter what you hear, you are not to look in.

Lord:   (unsure) Uh-hmm… (nods)

Priest: I will now begin the exorcism.

The lord leaves the room.

Priest: Now… (turns to the statue) Leave peacefully and I will show you mercy.

The priest points his staff at the statue. It shakes violently. The mouth of the Buddha suddenly turns into a menacing grin.

Priest: (scoffs) I don’t suppose you’ll give in so easily.

A weasel appears from the statue and flies at the monk.

Priest: Huh! So you’re a demon weasel!

The demon weasel attacks the monk, who dodges. A pink glow appears its the forehead.

Priest: Huh? That light… A fragment of the Sacred Jewel?

The demon weasel attacks the monk, who dodges. It crashes into the wall instead. The priest leaps and hits it on the head with his staff. The demon weasel growls. Cut to exterior of building, where the lord and his serfs look on.

Lord:   What is it? That sounds like some beast…

Serf 1: What’s going on in there?

Serf 2: Shall we take a look, my lord?

Lord:   No, wait… He said not to look until he gave the word. I don’t want to catch any flak from the exorcism.

The building shakes violently. Sounds of rummaging are heard.

Serf 2: But, my lord…it sounds like someone’s searching the mansion.

Lord:   Just hold on awhile…

A while later. It is sunset. Cut to the lord in the princess’s room. The princess is seated behind the lord, who picks up a weasel.

Lord:   So you say this tiny weasel turned into a demon and had a hold on you?

Princess: Yes.

Lord:   And what of the monk?

Princess: (holds her face and blush) He gave me no name, and left as cool as you please.

Serf:  Oh, my lord! It’s a disaster!

Cut to the lord staring at an empty treasure room.

Lord:   (shocked) Oh…!

Serf:  Everything worth anything has been taken. And three horses, too.

Lord:   I’ve been had… (falls to the ground)

Cut to the priest riding on a carriage full of treasures. Three horses are pulling the carriage.

Priest: Now, where can I sell these off?

[ End of ACT II: 5min 28sec ]

[ ACT III ]

Nighttime. The priest baths in a hot spring with two snow monkeys.

Priest: Oh, well… After all the trouble transporting everything, they fetched such a small price. (holds up the Sacred Jewel fragment from the weasel) I guess this Jewel fragment was the only item worth anything.

KAG:  (background) A hot spring bath! How wonderful!

The priest peeps behind a boulder to the other side of the spring. A naked KAG enters the spring.

KAG:  My, but it feels glorious.

Priest: (thinking) A girl… Huh? (notices the fragment on KAG’s neck) That’s a fragment of the Sacred Jewel—and it’s huge. (moves forward)

KAG:  Don’t you dare peek!

Priest: (hides back behind the boulder) Huh?!

Cut to INU sitting with his back facing KAG on the other side of the hot spring. SHI looks at KAG.

INU:   Don’t worry. There’s nothing there that interests me.

KAG:  My! (turns around) Humph! (angry, thinking) How rude!

SHI starts undressing himself.

INU:   Huh? Shippo, what are you doing?

SHI:   I’m going in too.

INU:   (grabs SHI’s tail) Wait a minute!

SHI:   Inuyasha, you come too!

INU:   Wha…?

SHI:   I’ve always wondered… Why don’t you and Kagome ever bathe together? It’s more fun bathing together!

INU:   (exasperated) Listen…

SHI:   When my ma and pa were alive, we always bathed together.

INU:   You’re a kid, so you probably don’t understand…

SHI:   (stares at INU and whispers) Be honest. How far have you gone with Kagome?

INU gasps nervously.

SHI:   (folds his arms) When I ask things like that, grown-ups get tongue-tied. I wonder why?

INU:   (relaxes and pinches SHI’s cheeks angrily) You wonder why?! I almost said something I shouldn’t!

SHI:   Yikes! I won’t ask again!

Cut to KAG.

KAG:  (sinks herself into the water, thinking) So, I’m not a beauty like Kikyo…

KAG turns around and notices something. She screams. INU stops bullying SHI and runs to the spring. SHI follows.

INU:   What’s wrong? (jumps into the water)

KAG gasps as she sees INU. Cut to KAG thumping INU on the head with a huge stone. Several snow monkeys sit behind her.

KAG:  I’m fine. Get out of here!

INU falls into the water.

KAG:  (turns to the monkeys) Shoo! Shoo!

SHI:   Monkeys!

Cut to the priest putting on his clothes behind a tree.

Priest: She’s with a guy… Too bad. I hate violence.

In a forest. The priest thumps a tanuki (raccoon) on the head with his staff.

Tanuki: (holds his head) No, please… Miroku…

* Miroku abbreviated as MIR from now onwards *

MIR:   (knocks the tanuki’s head) I said I’d compensate you, didn’t I?

Tanuki: (unwillingly) Yes…

Daytime. KAG pushes her bicycle along a mountain path. SHI sits in the basket, while INU sulks behind.

KAG:  How long do you intend to stay mad? You saw me naked, so we’re even.

INU:   (blushes and looks away) I didn’t.

KAG:  (to SHI) He did, didn’t he?

SHI:   I can’t really say…

Pan up the cliff to reveal MIR and the tanuki overlooking them.

Tanuki: (nervous) I have to attack the guy, right?

MIR:   Yeah. Meanwhile, I’ll take the girl.

Tanuki: But, Miroku…why go so much trouble? If you use your right hand, it’ll be over in seconds.

MIR:   Fool. You know better than that. (holds up his right hand) If I use this hand, everyone will die.

Tanuki: That’s true… (worried) Well, if anything should happen, please save me. (takes out a leaf and puts it on his head)

MIR:   Don’t worry. (pats the tanuki on the shoulder)

Tanuki: (jumps off the cliff) Change!

The tanuki transforms into a huge boulder and rolls ominously towards INU-gang. They look up to the rumbling noises.

KAG & INU: Huh?

Tanuki: (fierce) I’ve come for you…

The tanuki-boulder crashes into INU-gang. KAG falls forward, while SHI falls down the cliff. The tanuki-boulder continues crushing on INU.

KAG:  (runs to the cliff edge) Inuyasha!

MIR appears behind KAG on her bicycle. He pulls her onto his lap and rides on.

KAG:  Eeek! Who are you?

MIR:   (smiles) You have nothing to fear. I am a Buddhist priest…no one suspicious. When I searched for the Sacred Jewel fragment, you were attached to it, you see.

KAG:  You’ve got that backwards, mister.

Cut to INU pushing the tanuki-boulder. He notices MIR riding away with KAG.

INU:   Kagome! What’s going on? That guy…! (pushes the tanuki aside, who crashes onto the ground) Get out of my way! (unsheathes TET) Out of my way I say!

The tanuki-boulder is frightened and transforms back to normal.

Tanuki: (cowering) H-he’s going to kill me!

MIR:   (stops) Tsk… (removes a chain of beads around his right hand) What a vicious fiend!

INU:   What’s the matter with you?

A strong gust of wind suddenly blows. TET is sucked out of INU’s hand and strikes a rock. INU is sucked upwards and crashes onto a rock wall.

KAG:  Inuyasha! (pushes MIR) Let me go! (runs off)

MIR:   (puts the beads back on his right hand) Certainly. (holds up KAG’s chain of Sacred Jewel and say to himself) All I need is this… (cycles away)

KAG:  (reaches INU) Inuyasha, are you all right?

A short while later. INU sits on the path.

INU:   Damn… Who was that guy, anyway?

KAG:  He said he was a Buddhist priest, but… (thinking) What was it he did with his right hand?

INU:   (thinks angrily) I felt like I was being pulled by a strong wind. What did he do from way up there?

KAG:  (gasps and yells) Oh no!

INU:   Huh?

KAG:  He stole my bike! The nerve!

INU:   Forget the bike! You were being kidnapped! I look away for one second, and… (folds arms)

KAG:  Inuyasha… I’m sorry.

INU:   (blushes and looks away defensively) It wasn’t you I was worried about. It was your Sacred Jewel fragment…

KAG:  (clasps hands and looks at INU with pleading eyes) Well… It seems he stole my Jewel fragment, too.

INU:   (glares at KAG fiercely) What?!

In a village. The villagers look on excitedly as INU leaps with KAG and SHI on his back.

INU:   Damn that guy! He can’t have gone very far. I’ll find him wherever he is.

Cut to INU on all fours, sniffing the ground. The villagers gape at them.

KAG:  Inuyasha, what’s taking you so long?

INU:   Leave me alone. The smells are all mixed up, so I can’t tell!

KAG:  People are gathering around!

SHI:   They’re really suspicious of us.

INU:   Where’d that bugger go?

Villager 1: A demon here in our village?

KAG:  See?!

Villager 1: That guy and kid aside, look at that girl.

Villager 2: Is she a demon?

KAG:  (shocked) Who, me?

INU:   (looks up and sneers) Good for you!

INU continues sniffing the ground.

KAG:  He’s probably not here.

INU:   (shoots up, flings over a door, peer into a barrel and goes back to sniffing the ground) No doubt about it. He’s here.

KAG:  Why would a robber hang around… (gasps and points) Oh! (finds her bicycle parked outside one of the huts)

Inside the hut. Several ugly geishas are singing and playing musical instruments. More geishas surround and fawn over MIR.

Geisha 1: (off-tune) Yippee-aii-ayy!

MIR:   (drinks disappointedly) Phew… “We have nothing but beauties,” he said? I’d have been better off drinking with the tanuki.

INU:   (bursts into the room with SHI and KAG) You!

KAG:  You bike thief!

MIR:   Oh, it’s you! (stands and rushes to KAG, holding her hand happily) You’re just what I need. You’re a sight for sore eyes!

INU:   (flexes his claws) I’ll take care of you! (attacks MIR)

MIR:   (dodges) Hold it. (runs backwards) Such violence.

INU:   What do you mean?! Just who was it that used a tanuki to attack us?! I guess you’re not ready to hand over the Jewel fragment.

MIR:   (smiles and holds up KAG’s necklace of Sacred Jewel) This isn’t something a demon should have.

INU:   (sprints towards MIR) Don’t get funny!

MIR leaps out of the balcony and runs off.

INU:   (chasing) Hey!

MIR runs in the village. INU chases him.

INU:   Hold it!

MIR:   I will not fight a senseless battle.

INU:   Is that right? Then you’ll die! (unsheathes TET and leaps)

The priest spins around and blocks INU’s attack.

INU:   (thinking) He stopped the Tetsusaiga! This guy’s no ordinary mortal.

MIR:   Do you insist on being punished?

INU:   (leaps backwards and lands) Who the hell are you?

MIR:   My name is Miroku. I use my spiritual powers to save people.

The villagers gather around MIR and INU.

Villager 1: What’s going on?

Villager 2: A demon?

Villager 3: He’s slaying demons?

Villager 4: Can he do it alone?

Villager 5: Hey! A priest is slaying demons!

KAG and SHI run into the scene.

INU:   You use your powers to save people? Why, you’re nothing but a robber. Give us back that Sacred Jewel fragment. We went to a lot of trouble to gather all those fragments!

MIR:   I understand… (holds up the Sacred Jewel) However, it would be best for you to let me keep this, Inuyasha…

INU:   So, you know who I am?

MIR:   Not at all. (INU drops) Your beautiful companion called you by that name.

KAG:  (blushing) My, he doesn’t seem to be such a bad person.

SHI:   (pinches KAG’s cheek) Wake up, Kagome! He stole your Jewel!

INU:   (scoffs) You won’t be flapping your lip when I get done with you. (sprints and swings TET at MIR)

MIR:   (blocks all of INU’s attacks easily while running backwards) You’re very strong.

INU:   (thinking) Damn! He parries my every stroke.

As MIR runs backwards, he trips over a pile of logs and fall backwards. INU knocks off his staff. MIR gasps and sits up.

INU:   (points TET in MIR’s face) Hand that Sacred Jewel fragment over… if you want to live.

MIR somersaults backwards and sprints away.

INU:   Oh?! Trying to run again?

MIR:   (shouting) People! Get as far away as possible, for your safety!

The villagers, SHI and KAG gape in confusion. Cut to MIR and INU running to the outskirts of the village. MIR stops and turns around.

INU:   (stops) Give up! You lost.

MIR smirks and holds up his right hand.

INU:   (thinks nervously) His right hand!

MIR:   Sorry, but I hate losing. (removes the beads around his right hand) Spiritual power!

A black hole on his palm is revealed and starts sucking in the air and ground.

INU:   (struggles to hold on) Wha…!

INU thrusts TET into the ground to gain a foothold. MIR continues sucking in chickens and horses.

INU:   It’s like that time on the cliff… What is this wind? A Wind Tunnel in his right hand!

MIR:   How long can you hold out?

TET slowly shifts and INU struggles to keep his footing. In the village, villagers are panicking. KAG and SHI peer from behind a wall.

Villager 6: Get away! You’ll get sucked to your death!

KAG:  It’s like a black hole! This isn’t about spiritual power!

SHI:   Kagome! We’d better run, too.

KAG:  I’ve got to stop him. (SHI gasps) That Miroku…

Flashback of earlier on, when MIR was running.

MIR:   People! Get as far away as possible…

Back to present.

KAG:  (thinking) He’s trying not to suck in humans.

INU:   D-damn!

MIR:   Surrender. If you get sucked in, you’ll never get out.

INU:   Forget it! (sucked towards MIR) I’ll chop that right arm off!

MIR:   It’s no use! It’ll suck you in, sword and all.

MIR gasps as he notices KAG flying towards him.

INU:   Kagome!

MIR puts on the beads over his Wind Tunnel immediately. KAG crashes into him from inertia and they fall backwards.

INU:   (worried) Kagome!

KAG gets up from MIR’s body.

KAG:  (clutches her head) Ow… (notices the beads on MIR’s right hand, thinking) Those prayer beads… They seal off his right hand. He controls himself. He’s not an evil person.

MIR is unconscious.

INU:   (rushes to KAG) Kagome… Did you willingly rush in?

KAG:  Well, this Miroku… He could have killed us long ago using his right hand. I’m sure he’ll be reasonable if we talk to him.

MIR’s eyebrows twitches and he gropes KAG’s butt with his right hand. KAG shrieks and leaps off MIR. INU rushes forward and holds KAG. INU glares at MIR angrily while KAG clutches onto INU’s shirt.

KAG:  Kill him after all!

INU:   You good-for-nothing monk!

MIR:   Settle down. We’ll talk.

[ End of ACT III: 15min 56sec ]

[ ACT IV ]

Sunset. SHI sits in a tree, eating a fruit. KAG, MIR and INU sit on the grass near the tree.

MIR:   I’m gathering the fragments of the Sacred Jewel in order to find a certain demon, and eliminate him. That demon’s name is Naraku.

KAG:  Naraku…?

MIR:   This Wind Tunnel in my right hand was created by a curse placed by Naraku.

KAG:  What sort of demon is Naraku?

MIR:   He is malicious, and devours people. That’s all I know.

KAG:  What do you mean?

MIR:   (looks up) Well…

Flashback. A priest walks in a city. Cut to images of various people.

MIR:   (narrating) It was my grandfather who battled Naraku in his youth. That was about 50 years ago. Their battles lasted several years. Whenever they met, Naraku appeared as a different person.

Back to present.

KAG:  As a different person?

MIR:   In their final battle, he took the form of a beautiful woman.

Cut to flashback. An image of a beautiful woman appears.

MIR:   (narrating) My grandfather had great spiritual power, but unfortunately…

Back to present.

KAG:  Bet he was a lecher.

MIR:   That’s a good guess.

Cut to flashback where MIR’s grandfather fought the beautiful woman in a room. He throws a handful of sutras at her. The woman throws blades at him. He falls backwards and a hole appears in his right palm. He yells in pain.

MIR:   (narrating) Naraku pierced my grandfather’s right hand with the seals and escaped himself.

Naraku: That Wind Tunnel that I have cursed you with, shall be passed on to your progeny, so long as I live. Each generation shall be cursed, until no one remains.

Back to present.

MIR:   (looks at his right hand) This Wind Tunnel gets bigger by the year, and stronger. If I don’t kill Naraku, I’ll probably get sucked in myself.

KAG:  Does that mean you’ll die?

MIR:   Yes. And that’s all right…if that’s my fate. But I can’t let Naraku go unchecked. The Sacred Jewel that vanished 50 years ago has appeared today in fragments. Naraku is sure to gather the fragments in order to strengthen his powers. It is said that Naraku nearly got the Jewel 50 years ago. After killing the priest ess protecting it.

INU:   (gasps and stands up) You say he killed the priestess?

MIR:   Yes.

INU:   (thinking) He’s the one who took my form and wounded Kikyo. There’s no doubt about it. (grabs MIR) Miroku! You say Naraku takes different forms? What does he look like now?

MIR:   If I knew that, I’d have found him long ago, and slain him.

Cut to flashback of Naraku posing as INU and attacking KIK.

INU:   (voice-over) He laid a trap for Kikyo and me, and made us hate each other. The one who killed Kikyo is still alive and is after the Sacred Jewel.

Back to present.

INU:   (clenches his fists angrily, thinking) I will find Kikyo’s killer and avenge her death!

KAG:  (holds up the necklace of Sacred Jewel on her neck) If we keep looking for these fragments, we’re sure to run into Naraku, right?

MIR:   How’d you get that…?

KAG:  Let’s gather the fragments together.

MIR:   Huh?

KAG:  Well, I’m sure Inuyasha’s not about to give this up.

INU:   Of course, not!

KAG:  That’s why.

MIR:   (looks away) I’m not very good at dealing with people…

KAG:  But, if you don’t kill Naraku soon, you’ll die, won’t you?

MIR:   Kagome… Are you concerned about me? (holds KAG’s hands)

KAG:  Of course…

MIR:   Then, I have a request. Will you do me the favor of bearing my child?

KAG grimaces in confusion.

INU:   (glares at MIR, face twitching) What…?!

KAG:  What’s this all about?

MIR:   If I should fail to destroy Naraku, and die, I need a child to carry on my family’s mission. (grabs KAG into his arms and sighs)

INU:   (shoves MIR away) Quit it, will you? You lecherous priest !

MIR:   I’m a priest.

INU:   If you lay a hand on Kagome again…

KAG:  (smiles) Inuyasha…

MIR:   Well, pardon me, I thought you were just a companion… You’re in love with Kagome…?

INU:   (taken aback) Huh…?

MIR:   Please forgive me.

INU:   (blushes, defensive) Damn it! She’s just a Jewel detector!

KAG:  (shocked and steps back) Jewel detector?! (elbows INU) How dare you! (folds her arms) Well, I guess you do have someone you love.

MIR & INU: Huh?

KAG:  What shall I do? Miroku is nicer…

INU:   Why, are you going to betray me?!

MIR:   You must be nicer to the womenfolk.

INU:   (scoffs) Shut up!

KAG:  I’m only a Jewel detector…

SHI:   Weren’t they having a serious discussion? (shakes his head) I don’t understand grown-ups.

Pan upwards to the evening sky.

KAG:  You could learn from Miroku.

MIR:   Gentle.

KAG:  Yes. Be more gentle.

MIR:   Yes, be gentle…

KAG:  (shrieks) Hey, don’t touch me there!

INU:   Did you touch her again?!

[ End of ACT IV: 20min 34sec ]

[ End of episode 16: Mystical Hand of the Amorous Monk, Miroku ]

[ Preview for next episode ]

We found out that Naraku was the demon who created the hatred between Inuyasha and Kikyo. Because our intentions and destination are the same, we arrived at the aftermath of a battle which reeks of ink. Hell-demons appeared and attacks Inuyasha! How did the pictures turn into flesh? The mysterious painter of these paintings also possess a Sacred Jewel fragment! Next episode, 'The Cursed Ink of the Hell Painter'!